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Little known fact: Long ago, The Bearded Man took over a small-town bakery, in an attempt to build the world’s largest donut and set a Guinness World Record. This was after he had already become stupid rich, so he just basically set a briefcase full of cash in front of the bakery owner to close down shop for a year, and they got to work. At first, they just multiplied the normal recipe by 100, then 1,000. But it just completely fell apart. They had to have a special oven designed by Rolls Royce just to accommodate the rising process, and Rolls Royce doesn’t even *make* ovens, so you can bet that cost a lot. After almost 9 months of hard labor, it looked like they were going to break the record any day now. Phella and Medi came running into the shop one morning, and said: “Mr. Beard! I think we finally figured out the secret! It’s...” But The Bearded Man was nowhere to be found. Our hero was on a beach sipping cocktails and listening to this song. “Who the hell cares about donuts anyways!?”, he thought to himself. ADHD is a b****.
